A powerful story about being asked where you're really from is getting great responses.
It's a harmless question. Or is it?
CNN's Tanzina Vega is tired of being asked where she's really from, and for good reason.
"Where are you from?" might seem like it's just innocent small talk, and as Vega says in her latest story at CNN, it often is. But there's another layer to it also worth examining, especially when answers like "New York" or "San Francisco" aren't satisfactory for the questioner.
Want to ask me where I'm 'really' from? Try another question. My latest for @CNNOpinion https://t.co/ZkawaTrQGF #whereimreallyfrom
— Tanzina Vega (@tanzinavega) June 20, 2017
Vega set out to "question the question," exploring the emotional toll it can have on the people being asked, who usually aren't white or white-passing. One person Vega quotes touches on the idea that to the people being asked, especially when asked again and again, it becomes a question of one's legitimacy as a "true American."
On social media, Vega's readers shared their own thoughts and experiences being asked where they're really from.
A common theme quickly emerged.
It's not so much any single instance of being asked the question that causes so much frustration, but the cumulative effect of years of having to defend one's own authenticity — what some might call a microaggression.
For some, "where are you really from?" feels like a way to put them in a racial or cultural box.
I've been asked this question in every setting- from interviews to dates. Ppl demand my ethnicity before asking my name. #whereimreallyfrom
— Kimya Forouzan (@kimyaf) June 21, 2017
"So where are you from? Rural Pennsylvania?? Really? It just doesn't look like it...." 😑#whereimreallyfrom http://pic.twitter.com/lk8IHpG4jM
— Touché (@ToucheDeF) June 21, 2017
I always say Illinois! I'm Asian, so that's never the answer people really want. #whereimreallyfrom They want to know how to classify me.
— KLoni (@kloni847) June 21, 2017
My family has been in the US since the 1800s but folks asking #whereimreallyfrom assume I'm Israeli. @tanzinavega https://t.co/ZksMvZMf9G
— Jake Turx (@JakeTurx) June 20, 2017
The question was also used as a bullying tactic in elementary and Jr. high — by 2nd generation europeans. #whereimreallyfrom
— Peter Bradley (@pbradl42) June 21, 2017
#whereimreallyfrom sounds like a liberal version of "Go back to your country" phrase I heard a lot over the last year. #StopRacistAntiRacism
— Really Really (@realReally_Real) June 21, 2017
See also: "why don't you speak Spanish?" and "what ARE you?" #whereimreallyfrom https://t.co/V4UryhyP2o
— Téa A. Franco (@tea_a_franco) June 21, 2017
For others, there's a telling persistence to people asking the question, who refuse to take the place they were born as an answer.
People: Where are you from?
— Daniel Peña (@danimalpena) June 20, 2017
Me: Texas
P: but originally
M: Austin
P: Like before that
M: El Paso#whereimreallyfrom gracias, @tanzinavega https://t.co/jGV4axoRb6
I usually say Boston at first. Then when ppl press I tell them my dad was born in Pakistan and my mom was born in Italy #whereimreallyfrom
— INH (@Tron731) June 21, 2017
#whereimreallyfrom I always make a point to say ~my parents~ are from Pakistan not me, but many don't seem to get the distinction
— Yasmin Sara (@thebatglare) June 21, 2017
#whereimreallyfrom
— cho, rachel (@rachcho_03) June 21, 2017
It's Minnesota. http://pic.twitter.com/MRFkz8oRpK
Yes. To ask someone "Where are you really from?" is basically asking "What race are you?"
— Maya Sen (@maya_sen) June 21, 2017
It's not subtle. And it's usually not polite https://t.co/4ZVKlqtULY
#WhereImReallyFrom is an almost daily question. Especially in the summer when my hair is curly. Folks can't fathom dark skin & curly hair.
— Thai Eileen (@ThaiEileen) June 21, 2017
Cartoonist Connie Sun shared one of her 2014 works, highlighting a very specific kind of annoyance that question can prompt.
My face when someone asks #whereimreallyfrom and it's more a comment than a question. 😉 http://pic.twitter.com/QhLdJRhX5r
— Connie Sun 🌞 (@cartoonconnie) June 21, 2017
And author Anand Giridharadas shared an excerpt from his 2012 book, "India Calling: An Intimate Portrait of a Nation's Remaking."
After long being asked #whereimreallyfrom in America, I moved to India, where people began to ask #whereimreallyfrom. You can't win. @CNN http://pic.twitter.com/GJFrX1KmRl
— Anand Giridharadas (@AnandWrites) June 21, 2017
Its true! #whereimreallyfrom is fundamental. There is no winning! Being told "u r not from around here" means u r not one of us!
— Michael Gallaher (@michael_maver) June 21, 2017
Check out Vega's story over at CNN for a more complete explanation of her take on this question. You'll be glad you did.
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